I've been surprised that the adjustment has been smoother than I imagined. What's hard is adjusting to two kids—two boys—ages 8 months and almost three. Wow, they are cute but woah they keep me so busy. One second, everything is clean and orderly and the next neither have clothes on, I'm holding some kind of bodily fluid in my hands, and one or both is crying. Some days are really hard. Like, I want to run away or find another thing to fill my time. Sometimes it feels like I get too much home time. But other days feel almost sacred. Even the messes. It's the ins and out of satisfying hungry tummies and teaching a new word. Teaching a fat baby to clap or raise his hands when we yell, Hooray! It's pulling on clean leggings for the fourth time, an unprovoked apology and I wuv you Baby without a sliver of guile. It's messy towheads and declarations from the couch, Mama, We. Need. Dirt. and then we head to the park and kick a soccer ball until the sun goes down. Sometimes my oldest will hold my face in his hands, look in my eyes, and ask me if I am happy. Just like him, I cannot lie. Yes, Silas, I am so happy. Sometimes I'm sad. Sometimes I'm frustrated. Sometimes I'm tired. But I am so happy. Then I ask him, Are you happy? Then he gives me his signature earnest look and says, Dada happy, Mama happy, Baby happy, Si happy. And just like that, we're a family.
Moving was not one flight or just leaving Brooklyn or our stuff placed in PODS and driven across the country. It's been a two month wave of rebounding, over and over and over again. For family time, for couple-time, for moving-in time, for friend time, for work time. It's refiguring all our old systems of time management and adjusting to our new workload, our new family (still new to two kids!), our new church congregation, our new friends, and our new neighborhood. Every day is a slightly uncomfortable adventure and that's where Keenan and I like to be. It's challenging but really good. I've said it before: I love a fresh start. (And pen pals.)
If you just moved, or are moving soon, fist pump. You got this.